


Like moths to the flame

by Buchstabensuppe



Category: Black Sails
Genre: F/M, Flint and Madi talking, M/M, Silver injured, some metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7732177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buchstabensuppe/pseuds/Buchstabensuppe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her hand reached out to brush back some stray jet curls, and Flint’s fingers tingled with longing to do the same.<br/><em>Not my place</em>, he told himself like so many times before. <em>It’s her domain here. Her rules. Her John.</em> What happened between them elsewhere did not belong here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like moths to the flame

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jmeelee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jmeelee/gifts).



> Well, that's my first fic ever, also English isn't my native language, so be lenient :)  
> Also, thanks to Jmeelee, who's story All the Old Romance Retold inspired me to write this. Hope you like it!

# Like Moths to the Flame

The light of a lonely candle on the nightstand flickered over Silver’s relaxing features, while his wife was whispering comforting endearments in his ear.

Flint stood on the opposite side of the room, next to Billy and Ben Gunn who had supported their quartermaster the entire way from the ship to his home in the Maroon camp. Madi’s home. Their home now.

Flint couldn’t help but feel like an intruder, an unwanted onlooker in this tender moment, and judging by Billy’s and Ben’s self-conscious faces they were uncomfortable too.

When the sleeping draught finally carried the injured man off into profound sleep, Madi stood up and turned to face the men. 

„Get out“, she brusquely ordered.

The two younger men didn’t need to be told twice and hastily retreated. After a last look to the sleeping form on the bed, Flint wanted to follow them, but her voice froze him in his steps before he had reached the door.

„Not you.“

He turned back around, bracing himself to face her glare, her anger. Of course she was furious, and righteously so. Had he not repeatedly lured her husband away from her? Had he not talked him into the very undertaking that had let to his current condition?

When she suddenly came near to him, Flint shrank back, expecting a blow. All the more suprising, when Madi pulled him into an embrace instead. Flint couldn’t muster up the courage to return the gesture, so he just stood there like a statue, doubt and bewilderment paralyzing his every movement.

„Thank you“, he heard her voice somewhat muffled by his neck. „For bringing him back.“

Guilt washed through him at the thought of their betrayal of her on Ocracoke. Their many betrayals since. Did she expect something? He guessed not.

„The least I could do“, he finally managed to say as Madi released him from her arms. „I was the one endangering him in the first place, wasn`t I?“

That drew a soft snort from her. She took her place next to the bed again and after a moment of tension motioned for Flint to take the second chair. Her eyes fondly wandered over Silver’s slack features as she said: „John’s not one who needs help to find endangerment, and you know it.“

Her hand reached out to brush back some stray jet curls, and Flint’s fingers tingled with longing to do the same.

 _Not my place_ , he told himself like so many times before. _It’s her domain here. Her rules. Her John._ What happened between them elsewhere did not belong here.

„I knew it from the start, you know?“, she continued, breaking the sudden silence and startling him out of his traitorous thoughts. He lifted his gaze from Silver to meet her discomforting stare.

„What?“, he heard himself ask, his voice a wary snarl.

Her eyes never left his, but he could tell she saw something entirely different. „That he loves you“, she answered. „Not only as his captain, not as his friend, but more. Much more. I knew it even before he himself was completely aware to the fact, but I did not want to believe. I wanted to steal his heart from you, and failed.“

Flint didn’t trust his ears. What was she trying to say? Whatever it was, he knew at least what she needed to hear.

„That’s bullshit“, he forced himself to say, knowing it to be the truth. „He loves you dearly. You and the little one. He misses you when on the ship.“

„But he misses you when at home“, she pointed out, her face a resigned mask by now. „It’s like a curse, neither of us can ever possess his whole heart. And John’s trapped between us, like a moth drawn to two different light sources and unable to decide which one to fly to.“

„The question is“, Flint muttered sombrely, „which one of us is the moon, and which one just a searing candle.“ His gaze slipped back to Silver’s bloodless face on the pillow, all too aware of the pain evident in the grim line of his mouth, and the familiar feeling of remorse tore at his heart. Flint guessed his chances to come out of this metaphor as the guiding moonlight weren’t that great.

Madi watched him with a distant expression in her eyes, her fingers still curled in Silver’s hair. „It doesn’t have to be this way, does it?“ 

Flint stiffened. „If you’re trying to tell me I should leave and give him up -“

„Would you?“, she asked.

 _I was there first!_ , Flint wanted to scream into her face, but instead found himself telling her the truth again, his voice a mere whisper. „I tried, believe me, I did. John did too, but in the end it’s always one of us dragging the other down again.“

„How often did he betray me?“, Madi asked. Forcing these words over her lips seemed to take all fight out of her. She looked small and more fragile than Flint had ever seen her. It was unsettling.

„Do you really want to know?“

She didn’t answer, just averting her gaze.

Sudden anger flared up in him and he slammed his fist down on his thigh in an act of utter frustration. „This whole situation is fucking unbearable! He’s feeling guilty for betraying you, and I’m feeling guilty for encouraging him in it.“

Madi laughed, a soft unhappy sound. „And I blame myself for taking him from you in the first place. It’s ridiculous and unhealthy but neither of us can let go.“ 

Flint’s rage had been short-lived, already burned down to cold ashes of despair. „So what do we do?“

Madi’s mouth opened and closed as if she wasn’t sure if he would like her answer. Finally she decided to speak: „When John insisted on calling our child after that friend of yours I wasn’t too happy with it, so he told me about him. About him and his wife. And you, because you belong in this story just like the two of them.“

Flint could feel his anger boiling up again, this time spiced with an ounce of disappointment, but he managed to hold it at bay pretty well. „He did what?“

Madi eyed him warily. „I know he had no right to tell me, but don’t blame him. In the end I had to pry it out of him. And maybe he thought I would accept more easily if I had knowledge of such things.“

Flint wondered where this conversation was leading them. „And do you?“

Madi stood abruptly and went over to the desk, where she filled two cups with rum. He could not see but feel the tremor in her hand as she passed him one of them.

„This woman“, she continued without responding to his question. „Miranda, right? How was she able to accept sharing her husband with you?“

Flint felt slightly inept to give her a satisfying answer. „It wasn’t like that“, he tried anyway. „She loved us both, I guess. As did Thomas. As did I.“

„The three of you …“ Perhaps he was imagining things but she seemed intrigued by the notion. „Did you never get into any fight?“

He remembered harsh words, the shards of a broken vase on a polished marble floor. „Of course we did, like in every relationship we had our quarrels, but all in all it happened to be a perfect balance."

Madi uttered a slightly suspicious snort. „And still, not everyone would agree to something so far from any rule.“

He shrugged. „We didn’t care about rules back then. It would be ludicrous to start caring now that I’m a pirate, wouldn‘t you say?“

„But look where it got you“, said Madi scowling. „They are dead and gone. And you -“

He gave a humourless laugh. „You’re queen to an island full of former slaves, so stop lecturing me about the downside of not following society’s rules!“

He hadn’t meant to shout. There was a tiny moment when they both forgot their dispute, too engaged in watching Silver’s sleeping face. When he didn’t wake from the noise, they let out a simultaneously held-back breath.

She glared at him for a second, then took a long sip from her cup. „You’re right.“

There was something softening her gaze, when she turned to him again. Something oddly close to fondness. „We are outlaws, you and I, so we’re able to make our own rules.“

Flint kept silent, startled by the unexpected speck of hope awakening inside him. Where was this coming from?

Madi put her empty cup down on the nightstand with a loud thud and reached out to take his hand in hers. At first Flint was too surprised to pull away, and then he noticed how warm and soft her skin was; how stunningly beautiful the contrast of her dark fingers around his scarred freckled hands.

„James“, she said softly, the use of his forename nearly stopping his heart. The only person who had ever called him that since Miranda‘s death was John. He began to draw back his hand, but she wouldn’t release it.

„Madi …“

„I spent the whole time of your latest voyage thinking“, she told him. „Brooding about his infidelity and nursing my grudge against you, but then I realized something vital.“ She reached for John’s bandaged hand on the blanket, still not letting go of Flint’s in her left. „I love him, James, and I’m not satisfied owning half his heart.“

„Me neither“, he groaned.

„So let’s stop splitting it in half and make it whole again“, she said stroking his palm. „I’m not sure if I will be able to love you, like Miranda did, or if you’ll ever love me, but maybe we can agree in making him happy?“

„Are you saying we should …“

„No!“, she exclaimed. „At least not yet. Maybe never …“ She drew his hand over her lap to the bed and placed it in John’s, her own hands wrapped around theirs like a cocoon. „For now I’m ready to welcome you as a member of our family, as long as you’re willing to do the same.“

He considered her words carefully and wondered what kind of creature would emerge of this cocoon. A voracious locust, feeding on their love until nothing was left to save? Or a butterfly, something bright and colourful, forging the three of them together and making them stronger?

„You really think this could work for us?“, he asked, still not trusting the determination in her eyes.

„Time will tell“, she answered with the first genuine smile, Flint had ever received from her.

„Time will tell.“


End file.
